28. Fair and Lovely

Oprah Winfrey is first and the only black multi-billionaire in North America. For those who don't know her, she used to be a TV presenter, she ran "The Oprah Winfrey Show" for 25 years and the show itself was the highest rated television program of its kind in history. She is currently the CEO and CCO of Oprah Winfrey Network.

She is an inspiration to most people in the world, especially the presenters who want to do well in the media. She has gone against all the odds to become who she is today. She was raped and impregnated at the age of fourteen; she is black and a woman. So much could have gone wrong with her life but she was persistent enough to become successful. Neither of the above mentioned obstacles stood before her dreams. She has changed the way how women, blacks and presenters are viewed in the world.

But has she really?

I came across a vacancy announcement posted by a representative of a media company of Nepal. The advertisement claimed the company to be the "major media house in the city", looking for female presenters. My friends were talking about the disappointment towards the requirements of the announcement over lunch today and I didn't know how bad it was until I read it myself. I read it thrice still trying to make sense of it. Trust me, I tried but no matter how many times I read, the requirement sounded more off than I read them the first time. 

The "major media house in the city" was looking for girls with beautiful face (clear and toned skin), well maintained figure: not too skinny, not too chubby, time management skill and strong command over Nepali and English language. While latter requirements made sense, the initials were equally bizarre. 

I gave the announcement benefit of doubt once. My only inside knowledge about media industry in Nepal was some handful of media personalities I was following on Instagram, who were all beautiful and had clear toned skin and well maintained figure. Maybe talent had nothing to do with being presenter, confidence, hard work were all useless and one needed to look only good to become an exceptional presenter. 

Or maybe I was upset with the announcement because I neither had beautiful face nor well maintained body and I couldn't take the hard truth. I had lost the opportunity to become a presenter even though I don't plan to become one. But no matter how hard I tried to rationalize the requirements, the more wrong it sounded.

I googled the requirements to become a good presenter, read actual vacancy announcements for several other national and international media houses that weren't from the 1970s or 1980s; all of them had few requirements in common; they were looking for a girl with a degree, good communication, work ethics, confidence and experience of any kind. None of them were looking for girls with beautiful face and a body. Well groomed? Definitely. But nothing too harsh.

Dear media house, take a look around, we don't live in 1970s anymore. Take a look at Oprah, Queen of All Media. She is not your quintessential beauty and she thrived in the world of whites even as a black and that too as a presenter. Maybe it's time for you to revise your requirements. Dust off your Fair and Lovely attitude. And you should know it better, a presenter is more than just a pretty face.

27. Humanizing God

I have tried meditating. I have tried fasting. I have tried being a positive person. I have read books on positivity. I have watched Ted talks videos on achievement, success and motivation but everything together hasn't made me a calm-positive person, I aspire to be. 

I frequently get irritated. I have mood swings. I am opposite of calm and I wouldn't brag myself to be the positive person even though I try hard to stay away from the negativity. 

I wasn't expecting much when I grabbed the book Siddhartha. The major agenda was to learn something or anything about Buddha. The previous book I had read about Buddhism had left me more confused about the dharma. So, this was my second attempt to find answers to the questions. If you ask me honestly, I don't even know what the questions were. Like everyone else, I want to be more organized, get my things done in time, work hard to achieve something worthwhile. The expectation is limited to change and I wasn't sure if these motives were even mildly related to the book. 

I like when the writer treat their characters as humans. When the characters feel what I feel, think what I think and act the way I would. At least in the human level. What intrigued me most about Siddhartha is this very style of writing. Hesse throughout the book treats Buddha as a human, as Siddhartha and initially, it messes up with my head and leaves me confused. Isn't Buddha god? Isn't Buddha supposed to be perfect? I would find myself asking in between various chapters. Hesse however never backs down when he has to treat Buddha in most human way possible. He showcases Siddhartha's flaws in an authentic manner.

As a Nepali, I have always been around Buddhism and Hinduism together. Buddha was always different from the Hindu gods. He didn't have dozen of hands, he didn't use any animal as mode of transportation. But I had also never imagined Buddha to be lost in the veil of Maya.

This is exactly when I found the hole in my learning. The only thing what made Siddhartha Buddha was his experiences. But when we talk about Buddha we seem to be skip and hurry into the part of enlightenment. We completely forget to talk about his experiences. He experienced heartbreak, he experienced departure, he experienced failure. He failed to stick to the routine (something we can all relate to), he was driven by lust and distress and he was not perfect.

I grew up knowing the Siddhartha who was calm and rational who had inherent characters of Buddha but as I kept reading the book, "anyone can be Buddha" made more sense. Buddha as I understood later was a process that was accumulated with plenty of experiences (good and bad), failures and mistakes. Everyone can indeed be Buddha. 

Siddhartha took decades to become who he was and his stories had lot of holes like all of our own stories He was confused for several decades before he could get back to his real purpose in life. I was drawn to Siddhartha by his imperfection. I was delighted by his courage to accept every experience. I was inspired by his unapologetic nature.

Major takeaway? Buddha is wisdom recycled.