23. The Fit

He only knew how to love her. He didn't know how to show it. He didn't buy her beautiful gifts, nor did he help her in her housework. But you could frequently find him gazing her from afar. Trying to make sense of the feelings he felt towards her. Trying to find answers of why the dull looking eyes surrounded by heavy bags didn't bother him.

Something unlikely sparked in his heart every time he saw her. The feeling of unconventional happiness and immense love. He couldn't dare look away from her. Her not so captivating smile meant the world to him.

Only years later, he decided to do something about it. He wanted to show her love. The love he now not knew how to control. His eyes showed the passion and the actions its outcome. Learning to live for her didn't seem like he was cheating with his own life. Learning to cook, learning to watch reality shows didn't seem as dramatic.

He wanted to see the world from her eyes and in many times she reciprocated. She would wear the mismatching pair of socks in early winter morning just so that she could join him for the run. She smiled with her empty tummy and sacrificed her hour of sleep for what she felt was more important. She spent her time to love him.

Both of them only later realized how simple love was and how they had complicated it all these years, trying to find flaws in it rather than the fines. All that was needed was the willingness to love each other, no matter what life threw in their face.

Sure, there were days when she snoozed the alarm and he burnt the food but what helped them get through was a smile, an argument and most importantly the understanding of the fact that, if it weren't for one of them, how dull another one's life would be. 

22. Music Magic

I have a long relationship with music and songs.

I cannot tell you about the technical aspects of music. I don't know how to play any instrument. I have hard time determining what genre the song falls into. But I have been absolutely stunned by the power of music ever since I was a kid.

Back then, my favorite music used to be a jingle from condom commercial (yes, you read that right). I would always question my parents for scolding me while singing the jingle in front of house guests. Like any human relationships, I questioned my first crush. I feared the relationship as if I was doing something wrong, something I was not supposed to do.

As the years passed by my relationship with music only grew stronger. Nepali rock and pop music were at its peak back then. I spent my preteens waiting for The Countdown Show in Nepal Television at 8.10 in the morning. My relationship with Nepali music took a turn when Sandip from Axix/s band waved at me. I still remember singing their Adhuro Prem until my throat hurt. Preet ko Nasha by Cobweb is hands down the most romantic song I have ever listened in my entire life. 1974 A.D.'s Chari is still my favorite"go-to" cry song. 

During my early teens I was obsessed with Simple Plan. I knew every lyric from their album No Pads, No Helmets...Just balls. My taste of music slowly changed from puck rock to rock and alternative rock music with time but my first love will always remain Simple Plan. I still cry when they release their new song. I appreciate their loyal small fan base and am so proud to be a part of it. Like most human relations, I don't regret my first love. They are one of a kind. My favorite kind. I will love them always and forever.

In recent years I have stopped being picky about the kind of music I listen to. I started listening to anything and everything that made me feel good. Made me feel things, I didn't know I was capable of feeling. Love, sadness, anger, vengeance. Ed Sheeran made me feel love even when I was not in love. Beyonce made me feel empowered. Coldplay made me happy. 

My life has now been all about songs. I mightn't always listen to the mainstream songs. The songs everyone knows about but I have a list of songs that make me feel good. The songs I only listen to because I like that one line which I can relate to. The songs my friends asked me to listen. The songs I listen to for the first time. The songs I genuinely love and the songs I am embarrassed to love. 

People say, we are what I listen to. If that's true, all I can say about myself considering the songs I listen to is: I am me and I am not afraid of others.