22. Music Magic

I have a long relationship with music and songs.

I cannot tell you about the technical aspects of music. I don't know how to play any instrument. I have hard time determining what genre the song falls into. But I have been absolutely stunned by the power of music ever since I was a kid.

Back then, my favorite music used to be a jingle from condom commercial (yes, you read that right). I would always question my parents for scolding me while singing the jingle in front of house guests. Like any human relationships, I questioned my first crush. I feared the relationship as if I was doing something wrong, something I was not supposed to do.

As the years passed by my relationship with music only grew stronger. Nepali rock and pop music were at its peak back then. I spent my preteens waiting for The Countdown Show in Nepal Television at 8.10 in the morning. My relationship with Nepali music took a turn when Sandip from Axix/s band waved at me. I still remember singing their Adhuro Prem until my throat hurt. Preet ko Nasha by Cobweb is hands down the most romantic song I have ever listened in my entire life. 1974 A.D.'s Chari is still my favorite"go-to" cry song. 

During my early teens I was obsessed with Simple Plan. I knew every lyric from their album No Pads, No Helmets...Just balls. My taste of music slowly changed from puck rock to rock and alternative rock music with time but my first love will always remain Simple Plan. I still cry when they release their new song. I appreciate their loyal small fan base and am so proud to be a part of it. Like most human relations, I don't regret my first love. They are one of a kind. My favorite kind. I will love them always and forever.

In recent years I have stopped being picky about the kind of music I listen to. I started listening to anything and everything that made me feel good. Made me feel things, I didn't know I was capable of feeling. Love, sadness, anger, vengeance. Ed Sheeran made me feel love even when I was not in love. Beyonce made me feel empowered. Coldplay made me happy. 

My life has now been all about songs. I mightn't always listen to the mainstream songs. The songs everyone knows about but I have a list of songs that make me feel good. The songs I only listen to because I like that one line which I can relate to. The songs my friends asked me to listen. The songs I listen to for the first time. The songs I genuinely love and the songs I am embarrassed to love. 

People say, we are what I listen to. If that's true, all I can say about myself considering the songs I listen to is: I am me and I am not afraid of others.